Here you are. Wandering in a world, that doesn´t fit. Wondering, why everything feels so wrong. Here you are, giving your best to connect. Shuddering, because it doesn´t work. Here you are, exhaustively becoming sick and you don´t understand why. You give it all and nothing comes back in return. You are moving between worlds, never connected to one of them and asking yourself, what´s wrong.
Let me tell you, my love, nothing is wrong. Your search for a deeper connection just desparetly needs an adjustment. The perspective needs a change. Your outlook needs another direction.
Recognition, feeling loved, a space for you to take your part in this universe won´t come to you from the outside. You are not recognizing yourself, you are not loving your soul and you haven´t found your space deep within your heart. You are not the unified whole, that you long to be. And what you haven´t got within youself, won´t be given to you from the outside.
Clear your mind, take a step (or a few more) back and change your view to the insight. There are so many disconnected parts of yourself, parts that diverged. You have done so great in the past, although it might not feel like it was great. You have managed to survive your hard days and even the harder ones to 100 % and that´s pretty awesome! Please, my love, remember that every morning, when you wake up and every evening, before you fall asleep. Imagine the huge amount of energy that you have used for your search to fit in. This energy is so unbelievable deep and strong and the source never ends, although the use of this energy is making you really tired. This colorful and flowing source of energy is yours and noone can take it away from you! And it´s something you can be really, really proud of to have! It´s just making you tired because it flows in the wrong direction. It ends in nothingness and that´s what it´s making so exhausting.
Readjust the flow of your energy, readjust the direction. Change your position and get comfortable with changing your perspectives. Look in the inside and search, what parts within you are not connected to each other. Search the parts that do not love themselves and that feel kicked out of this world. Learn, how this could happen and educate your present YOU, how to change this. Be gentle with yourself! You are doing the best you can, don´t force anything but always move in the direction of healing. Step by step. Every mini-step you have mastered is a step to the version of yourself, you would have loved and respected as you were a child.