The book of Tehuti

„Es schneidet wie ein Messer,
die Sehnsucht in mein Herz.
Die Hoffnung es wird besser,
verwandelt sich in Schmerz.“

Ulla Leber

Sometimes I get a little lost in my dreams.
And without a place for the hope to be
my heart becomes heavy
and my soul tries to levy
back to the core
where everything else becomes a hoar
on the leaf spreading from the seed
deep down anchored in the book noone can read.

Than I remember I heard stillness could be the key.
I try to breathe
but my mind is clinged to
sometimes I don´t what
and sometimes I´m not able to see.

Although I´ve learned
in many cold nights
about murdering thoughts
behind my cries
of pain and annihilating emotions
which are eliminating with devotion
everything that I was supposed to be.

The wave to the quiet should be easy to ride
for me ´cause my loudest wish ´I just wanna be free´
led me to silence
in the darkest nights
that pushed me away
from reality or how it used to be
in this outer world
where I never wanted to stay.

So I´ll have a little patience
and search the enlightenment
as bad as I wanna breathe.

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